Ok ok ok!!!!

Alright already. I'll write, I'll write! Ok so here I go.

It really has been too long scence I have written on this thing. But now I have to brush up on my Skilllllz! Which are horrible btw. So sorry to you. Well.  So this video is awesome FYI.




Now that you seen that...

heres this. ( i have a new obsession with cats b/c i want one so badly)






your welcome.
:)

Lazy Days have gone away.....

OK so lots happened in the past two weeks. Shawn and I got an apartment in Daphne, like right next to his best friend Josh. Which is cool because he and his girlfriend Megan are really cool and very funny. Then I got a Job at Bimini Bobs, I start training on Monday. My last day at Flippers is tomorrow. And for the past week i have so fucking busy. I was getting up at like 7:30 am to drive to Orange Beach from Daphne every morning and then either working until 4 or till 9/10... then getting off and driving back to Daphne. I am so glad that shit almost over.
Also, on Tuesday Shawn left to go to Canada. He's gone for two weeks. His Grandfather has lung cancer. So he went up there pretty much to say goodbye. I feel so sorry for Shawn. It make me almost cry every time i think about it. But Shawn is so strong and holds stress extremely well. but I'm sure it still hurts just as much. I wish i could have went with him so I could be there for emotional support. But tickets were not cheap and plus it takes weeks to get a passport.
I miss him so much. I feel so lonely. I cant help thinking of stuff I know I shouldn't think about, that's why I hate being alone.But then I just try to think about Shawn and how he Is so amazing, and has made me so much stronger and proud of my self and how he always has believed in me even when i didn't believe in myself, and i want to better myself for not only him but me too. I have been looking forward today all day, into what i hope we become. I believe we can do anything. We are young, smart , and in love... the possibilities are endless.

Yo!

Man, For some reason I always forget about this thing. I have been so busy I haven't even had the chance to get on here.

Updates(like anyone even cares)
Still Working at Flippers, Beginning to hate it...They are so unorganized it's always so crazy and chaotic. But that's OK because I'm putting my two weeks in Thursday...because I'm MOVING!!! :) To Daphne, With Shawn! I'm so damn excited. I can't wait. It's gonna be so awesome to not have to miss him like every second of ever day now! because we will be together! I cant wait to wake up everyday to his sweet smile. The life we are building is so amazing.
God, I so damn happy.
Now all I need is that new job. I applied at this restaurant call Bimini Bobs. I really hope I get that. I kinda think i will. Shawn is also job hunting. and everything for all our new job possiblites is kinda like in limbo you could say. lol. Its actually rather annoying.
Well I have to go to work at Flippers. Blah.
I'll try to remember to blog more.

Update.

Wow. Its been Like a month since Ive blogged.
Well everything is going pretty well. I finally got a job, as a sever at a restaurant right in my neighborhood called Flippers. I really like it. It really fun actually. I love mostly all the people i work with and The restaurant has a really cool laid back feel. The Chef is really good and all his food is amazing. I'm making pretty good money. But Its a little stressful beacuse I just am not used to having so much on my plate at one time, I have college, work, shawn, Mimi and my family, and my mom and dad are both in not so great heatlh. Mimi is having her Gall-Blatter removed tomorrow and they have to put her to sleep and Im really scared she wont make it. I really dont know what I would do with out her, she means so much to me.... and we have gotten so close in the past few months. Im tring not to think about it but she keeps bringing up "if i die"... She says she would be Ok. and that "God" has a plan for her and that if its her time its her time. Uh It so annoying, I wish she wouldnt talk like that. I freaks me out so much. I guess all I can do tomorrow is hope and wait.
Well what else... I'm making good grade thanks to my many helpers. (thanks guys) : )
Well that all i can think of at the moment.
So yeah.
Peace.
:)

Fennec Fox

Im gonna get one, one day. They are my favorite animals.

Fun

Wow what a great weekend! I so much fun all weekend. Friday night I went to Daphne to see Shawn and that was awesome, we always have fun. We had an ice cube fight(which he won) that was very fun, and cold. lol. I just love spending time with him, no matter what we do. I really love him. Every little thing about him is marvelous.

Then last night...So crazy. I went to eat Mexican food with the family and some friends. Then I came home and went and met up with Caitlin and and a bunch of people and we went to a party down Fort Morgan. We were there like 20 minutes and the cops came and we all ran. It was so not cool, i was so damn scared. The whole party ran down the beach to Wes' house and we waited there for a while. And Mat came and picked Me, Caitlin, Cameron, Katie & Robby. And then Cameron let us all come over to his house and drink and chill. I didn't really feel like drinking so i just watched and took pictures. Then we went to Dustin's house and i passed out.

Today I came home and Layed out in the sun, it was such a beautiful day...

:)

I love my life and all the people in it.

My favorite love songs.

I wanted a list of all my favorite love songs... here it is.


Something- Jim Sturgess
Hold You in My Arms-Ray Lamontagne
Sampson- Regina Specktor
No one's gonna love you(like I do)- Band of Horses
Breathe In- Frou Frou
I will follow you into the dark- Death Cab For Cutie
The Scientist- Coldplay
Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
First day of my Life- Bright Eyes
Boats and Bird- Gregory and The Hawk
Better Together- Jack Johnson
Crash Into Me- Dave Matthews Band
I Know I Know I Know- Tegan and Sarah
Somewhere Only We Know- Keane
Against All Odds- The Postal Service
Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeah's
Ride- Cary Brothers
Green Eyes- Coldplay
Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional
The Nicest Thing- Kate Nash
Do You Realize- The Flaming Lips
Your Love Means Everything- Coldplay
I Miss you- Blink 182
I'll Be- Edwin McCain
A Thousand Miles- Vanessa Carlton
Lions Mane- Iron & Wine
1234- Fiest
Let Go- Frou Frou
Awake- Secondhand Serenade
Such Great Heights- The Postal Service
Say Yes- Elliot Smith
I Summon You - Spoon
Sleepwalking- Modest Mouse



Love songs are the best.
:)

Weekend.

So I haven't posted anything in a while so I think I will tell you about my weekend...
Friday... I woke up and went to longhorn steakhouse to apply to get a job there and they gave me an interview for Monday. Then I went to dinner with my family at Flippers and they wanted to hire me. How sweet is that to job interviews in one day, i haven't been able to get one in the past two months. Well, then I went to Daphne to Shawn's house and we hung out with Josh and Megan, Gaynelle, B, Andrew, and Jason. That was cool. We went to some guys house that has a little "studio" set up and listened to B. rap. and listen to that Zach guy make a fool of himself. then Gaynelle wanted to go to Jackson's oak... So Gaynelle, Andrew, Shawn and me went and walked around in the woods for a while. and then we all met back up and went to Ihop. Then Shawn and I went to Josh's house and stayed the night at his house. Saterday.... So saterday I woke up to a fucking tick on my hip from walking around in the woods. That shit sucked. It hurt. So Mrs Pam got a match and burned it and I pulled it out. Then we kinda just sat around and talked and watched Drake play and shit. Then Shawn and me went to mobile to the Museum of Mobile, they had a pirate exhibit. That was sweet. So then we went back to Daphne and drove around and went to fairhope pier and then ended up at Chet and Kristen's house and we went to sonic and walmart and then watched The Strangers. WHICH IS AWESOME! Best horror film i have seen in a while, maybe even ever.Then Kristen started to fall asleep so we went to Fairhope to Kate's house and hung out with her and Brandon for a little while. Then they got tired so we went to the lake forest park and talked until 5 am. Then we went back to his house and went to bed. Sunday... We woke up around 1ish and went to Starbucks and then we went to bayfront and met up with Josh, Megan and Jason. Then we went to McDonald's and then i had to go home.And i drove home blaring the music because I was pissed that i had to come home. When i got home i went to kiki's and watch TV for bit, and now here I am writing this blog, talking talking to Shawn on the phone. so that was my weekend. :)

Rant.

Ok so I'm gonna rant so if you don't wanna hear it dont listen...because i need this. Well My family is really really annoying the shit out of me, they seriously still treat me like a fucking child. It is infuriating. I Cant go out and have a good time like a normal person of my age. I can not stand being told what i can and can not do. I am a fucking adult. I'm almost 20 years old. And my whole life pretty much Ive been able to do what ever the hell i want and now that I'm here its like they want to have there thumb on me at all times so they can know I'm "safe"....WE LIVE IN FUCKING ORANGE BEACH! There is practically no crime hear, and if there is its vandalism not murder or rape or anything that would affect me. I mean really whats gonna happen to me at the goddamn movies. Whats gonna happen to me if I stay out past 12am, is that when the boogie man comes out or something. Uhhhh. I mean don't get me wrong i appreciate them so much and i really am grateful for everything they are doing for me but i just miss a normal social life. Fuck, i wish me and Shawn could get a apartment soon. Its just so damn hard for me to get a job, and until i get a job i cant even start to save money. And i really hate living off my grandmother. I feel so bad all the time. I just wish there was something i could do. I m gonna try to talk to kiki, but she just as stubborn as mimi sometimes. I really have to figure out how i can make so fucking money so i can move out.

College Time!

Wow. I'm so excited. I finally have been accepted into a college. I'm going to Columbia Southern University! So awesome. I will be getting my Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Information Technology! Damn that's a long degree name.I get to do everything on my own pace, and its all online or you can go to the campus in Gulf Shores, But I'm doing it all online.



Im Stoked.

friends?

Whats up with me having no friends?
I really miss having shay and alex. I feel like they are not even in my life anymore. Its really bumming me out. We used to do everything together. We used to hang out everyday. Its like ever since Alex moved we haven't really talked very much. and even though shay lives so close we never hang out and when we talk it seems awkward. I know people change and grow apart...but I just never thought that would happen to us. I have no friends anymore.It would really be nice to have someone to hangout with, I'm mean i dont work and caitlin is always so busy and shawn lives like 45 mins.from me so I cant really just jump in car and go see him so.. idk. Its weird, when i was with kevin i seemed to have more friends, and now nobody talks to me.... thats so fucking bullshit. Hes an asshole. why do those people care more about him than me. Its not fair, I'm as nice as I can be to everyone. Ive always tried to help my friends as much as I could in anyway they needed. I am a good friend. I dont care what anyone says. I know it And you know what, from now on if someone doesn't put an effort towards a friendship with me, fine. I dont need you. I have Shawn and hes truly all i need.He has always been there when i need him, even when we were not together. Also I have Caitlin and she is my sister, she will always be there. Even if shes busy, she will call me back when she can. She still tries. And Kelly. Shes my bestfriend. She always cares about whats going on in my life. And she gets so happy when she hears im Happy. Now thats a true friend.I really miss her more than anyone. dont get me wrong I miss shay, but if she wants to hang out she knows where to find me. and to all thoses people who were my friend just because of who i was dating....fuck you guys. I guess its not imoprtanat how many friends you have but its about how the ones you do have, and about how you feel about each other. So I may not have as many friends as some people, but the ones i do have Love me no matter what. And thats all that matters.

My Love Reveals Objects


my love reveals objects
silken butterflies
concealed in his fingers

his words
splash me with stars

night shines like lightning
under the fingers of my love

my love invents worlds where
jeweled glittering serpents live

worlds where music is the world

worlds where houses with open eyes
contemplate the dawn

my love is a mad sunflower that forgets
fragments of sun in the silence

Isabel Fraire

Bliss

Life seems to get better and better for me these days. Im truly where I need to be,it may not be where I want to be but it is necessary on the road to get where I want to be. I am so happy now. All I ever need to suceed this happiness was him, and i still ran from it... but i finally got it figured out. I have my mind set on him. Im so glad he never fully gave up on me, im so glad he feels the same about me as I do him. Im going to "get all my ducks in a row" so we can fully be together, and i cant wait to wake up every morning with him.